You know, THE Chuck Norris. The guy who has counted to infinity twice, who can slam revolving doors, who can build a snowman out of rain, who can kill two stones with one bird, whose chief export is pain … When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
This topic came up over the weekend when we found a Chuck Norris t-shirt and my mom just casually mentions that Dad fought Chuck Norris.
I mean, seriously, she JUST CASUALLY mentioned it. The biggest, most awesome, unknown thing about my Dad and she just mentioned it in passing.
Apparently Chuck Norris got his black belt around the same time that Dad qualified for his. And they sparred.
And the worst part is that since Dad is gone, I can’t ask him who won! How awesome would it be if Dad won and I can say my Dad beat Chuck Norris!
Then the jokes would be about my Dad. My Dad doesn’t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and that water gets the f*** out of the way. When my Dad enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off. And My Dad sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of my Dad!