Responses included my kids, car keys, library books, underwear, and a list of people some lady had slept with. Wait, what?
Kids I get. They are fast little things and they can quickly disappear even if you are watching them. Just ask my mom. Apparently I had a habit of wondering off. According to my husband, I still have this bad habit.
Car keys have an ability to grow legs and walk. I don’t know why they won’t just stay in one place. Although I did feel bad for the couple at the state park last week. They had brought two cars and lost both sets of keys while they were out walking the trails.
Underwear? That’s embarrassing …
And a list of people that she had slept with … er, a list of people with whom she had slept?
I would be paranoid that my husband would find it. Which apparently her husband did. But her dumbest move was naming the list, “People I have Slept With” instead of “Random Guys who Owe me Money” or some other innocuous title.
And why did she need to keep a list? Was it really that long? Or was she worried that she might forget someone? I just don’t understand.
I do wonder about the final conclusion. Did the list lead to a divorce? An equal confession from the husband? Or did they both ignore the elephant in the room and never spoke of it?
Anyway, I haven’t lost a list that would cause divorce but I have lost my engagement ring. Two days after the proposal.
About 10:00 on a Monday, I noticed that my brand-new ring was not on my finger. I was reasonably certain I had it on when I left for work. Which meant that I either lost it on my commute or somewhere at work. Talk about panic!!! I was minutes away from having to call my fiance to explain that I lost the ring!
I was retracing my steps while calling the transportation department to report it missing. Then I found it. At the bottom of one of my office drawers. Just sitting there. I didn’t even remember opening that drawer and I don’t know what made me think to look in that specific spot, but there it was. And then I called my fiance and confessed the whole thing anyway. Because I’m horrible at keeping a secret.
Let’s see, what else have I lost? I don’t have kids, but I almost lost my dog last weekend. I had taken her off of her leash so that she could sit on my lap at a tailgate (mistake one). Then I decided to pass her off to someone else so I let her jump down and assumed that she would go where she was supposed to (mistake two).
But that person wasn’t paying attention and Kizzy was able to book it past all of the other tailgate participants, then other tailgates, and other large groups of people, across a street, and down someone’s driveway. Where she promptly ran up to a girl in yellow and sat. The girl was nice enough to hold on to Kizzy while we ran to catch up.
I have no idea why Kizzy passed not one, not two, but three groups of people WITH FOOD to run straight up to this girl in yellow. Who didn’t have any food at all. She is such a strange dog.
Kizzy has officially been banned from tailgates.
Moving on, I’ve only lost my sister’s apartment number once – but at least I got to meet one of her neighbors! But then again, I’ve only been there once so it’s hard to say if I will remember it next time I go.
I’ve never lost my homework although I have had to use the excuse, “The dog ate my homework.” I swear, she really did!
However, there are many things that I have yet to lose. For instance, my car. I always seem to be able to remember where I parked. And I haven’t ever lost a car key for good – although, I have had to use the excuse, “The dog ate it” for that one to. I swear, Kizzy tried to eat us out of house and home when she was a little puppy.
I have no idea how to leave this post. I’ve been staring at it all afternoon. I still don’t have any brilliant ideas. So sorry if the ending seems a little abrupt. Until next time, readers!