An Indivisible Nation: The Case for the 53 United States of America

Hidden within all of last week’s hoopla over the election was the news that Puerto Rico may become the 51st state.  But why stop there?  I think we should strive to become the 53 United States of America.

The best argument?  Remember the Pledge of Allegiance?  One Nation, Under God, Indivisible with Liberty and Justice for All.

Well, 50 is an even number and divisible by 1, 2, 5, 10, 25 and 50.  51 is divisible by 1, 3, 17, and 51.  52 is an even number.  But 53?  53 is a Prime Number.  And a prime number, by definition is indivisible.  Thus fulfilling the indivisible requirement in the pledge of allegiance.  So the 53 United States of America is the most logical number.

I mean, I think it is too late for 41, 43, and 47.  And 59 might be slightly impractical.  Although if you were to ask our current president, we already have 59 states.  (Don’t believe me?  Check out the video here)

But assuming he was incorrect about already having 59 states, then I think that 53 is the perfect number and it really wouldn’t take much to get there.

Hawaii was the last state to join the Union and it was done by pretty much moving in and overthrowing the monarchy.  I’m never really a fan of deposing a queen so I’m hoping that we can be a little more diplomatic about our next acquisitions.

So what are the best options for our 51st, 52nd and 53rd states?

I think Puerto Rico has made a step in the right direction.  The winning vote was for statehood.  But before everyone gets overly excited, you should know that there were three options:  Become a state, stay a commonwealth, or become independent with some degree of association with the USA.

The statehood option received 803,000 votes and the option for the status quo received 798,000 votes.  Also, 72,000 voted for Independence and another 460,000 people just left the question blank.  I know I am not a math major but even I can figure out that the majority of people voted NOT to become a state.

But let’s assume that they did vote to become a state, it still has to be ratified by congress, and a bunch of other stuff.  But it might happen!

Then there is the District of Columbia (aka Washington DC).  They have the same problem that our country had in 1776 – taxation without representation.  Wikipedia (which never lies) says the new state would be called New Columbia.  Of course, they would need to check with New Hampshire, New York, New Jersey and New Mexico to make sure that they haven’t trademarked the word “New.”

So that is an easy 52.  But where do we get the last state?

We could accept Guam as our 53rd state.  Although, per State Representative Johnson, we would need to be careful and limit the population due to the fear that overcrowding might cause the island to tip over (You can’t make this stuff up, watch the video here).

Another option would be to split Texas or Alaska.  Mostly because of it’s sheer size.

I suppose it could be a good time for us to invite Mexico to be our 53rd state … many mexican citizens already have various family members scattered amongst the existing 50 states.  And the Latino population is one of the few that are actually still having children thus propping up our birthrate.  A growing population is usually a successful population.  Or at least, a growing population helps pay for the aging population and reduces our national deficit.  And our country is finally starting to speak more then one language thus developing our foreign language skills!  All good things …

We could annex Canada.  But it would be hard to do as one state, but I suppose we could break it up into smaller states and reach the next ideal number of 59.  Although we would be getting the better part of this bargain.  Canada seems to have all of it’s ducks in a row (figuratively speaking, of course, it would be a little strange if the country could actually make ducks line up in a row).  (Wow, I totally got sidetracked on that one.  Sorry guys!) with a small national deficit, smaller unemployment and an increasing monetary value.

So, members of congress, if you are out there.  In the time before the next election cycle starts (please, please not before Christmas), you should focus first on keeping us from falling off a cliff, and a fiscal cliff, and if you have any time left over, how about considering the 53 United States of America?

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