Avoiding the Crazies After Winning the Lottery

DSC_3435We bought a lottery ticket last week with the hopes of winning the $500 million jackpot.  People, I know I don’t have to tell you this but I’m going to anyway, THAT’S A LOT OF MONEY!  I’d be happy with 1/100th of that amount.

Just think of the things you could do with ½ a billion dollars.  For starters, I would never have to fly commercial ever again.  Or, you know, work.

But winning isn’t all fun and games.

First you have you two minutes of frame when you a presented with a 6 foot check that can’t actually be cashed.  Then the cameras are turned off and the crazy people start coming out of the woodwork.

Your fourth cousin three times removed is calling to renew your relationship.  That crazy nephew of your great-grandpa’s ex-wife is calling with investment ideas that are GUARANTEED to double your money.  And even the friendly people in Nigeria want in on the action.

I think that’s why the “experts” recommend contacting a lawyer before you turn in a winning ticket and release your name for all of the wackos and crazies to find.

But in case you decide not to go the lawyer anonymous route, the only other option available is to change your name.  Thus making it harder for your family to find you.

A sane person would recommend we change our names to Sam and Jane Jones.  Or Mike and Jen Smith.  Generic names make it easier to hide.

But Keith voted for his name to be Captain Awesome.  And my name could be Not So.  As in Not So Awesome.

Putting aside the fact that apparently I’m not so awesome, I feel like it would be hard to hide with that name.  I mean, no one is going to forget meeting Not So.  Thus defeating the purpose of the name change.

Well, if anything, I have to say that Keith finally managed to create his nickname.

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