Once youngest sister gets her driver’s license, she sets out on her first distance solo drive to visit my Grandparents. I, being the absolutely generous and giving sister that I am, let younger sister drive the SUV home while I take the mini van. But I lead. It’s an oldest thing.
Now, you have to know, these are country roads. In the middle of Amish country. And the Amish drive buggies. Pulled by horses. That like to poop in the middle of the road.
So I’m driving along, and I see some horse poop. I decide that I’m going to go around the poop. And I watch out of my rear view mirror to find out if my sister decides to drive around it or through it.
Youngest sister doesn’t see the poop until she is right on top of it. And instead of just plowing through, she jerks the wheel and misses the poop. Unfortunately, now she is shooting off in to a corn field with a large SUV on un-flat ground. We don’t know how many times that car flipped but she definitely got a close-up view of corn through the front windshield.
(This has to be the only accident report ever that includes corn crop reimbursement on an insurance claim.)
Since, I’m watching this whole thing take place on my rear-view camera (thank God I was watching that closely!!), I quickly turn around and head back to the last spot I saw my sister. And I could hear her screaming the whole way.
The Amish owners of the corn field come running out, people driving by stop to help, and I’m running toward my sister as fast as possible.
So now, once again. We are in a corn field. And all corn fields look alike. So I’m trying to explain to 911 our location. Finally, I give up.
I hand my cell phone to one of the Amish guys hoping that he can tell the 911 operator the address of his corn field.
Seeing the problem?
He looks down at the phone like what is this contraption of the devil that is projecting voices?
Yes, I realized my problem right away.
Fortunately, other people had called 911 and an ambulance was already on its way.
So I called my grandparents. Who rushed right over. And my parents. Dad rushed right over and Mom rushed right over to the hospital. And my Uncle. Who was driving in the same general vicinity. By the end, it looked like a big family reunion. In a corn field. That the insurance company had to pay the farmer for damages.
Don’t worry. Sister was fine. The car took the worst of it. But if you ever find yourself in Amish country and come across some poop in the road … just go through it and treat yourself to a carwash later. No sense risking a ride through a cornfield.